2018 I witnessed much success! It’s crazy to see how far I’ve come.
1. I’ve successfully slept on myself.
2. I’ve successfully counted myself out before I was even in.
3. I’ve successfully had THE dopest “woe is me” party that went hard for about 2400 hours straight. Some days, still in counting. For all my math geniuses, that’s 100 days.
Three hundred and forty-two days of success! *insert major eye roll*
This year I felt BLIZZ-OCKED. That’s culturally relevant for “blocked”. While I’m mentally trying to *69 who it is that swiper no swiping every blessing God had —
[PAUSE] Let’s take a moment to shout out the fact that clearly, my mind is not with the current times that I’m mentally *69-ing a fake number. [FLIP THAT THING AND REVERSE IT] dah doG gnisselb yreve gnipiws on repiws taht si ti ohw 96* [PLAY] While I’m mentally trying to *69 who it is that swiper no swiping every blessing God had for me, finally I get a voicemail.
“Hey! You’ve reached TYAIRA–“.
I. BLOCKED. MYSELF.
I don’t cuss, out loud. In my mind, I said the word that starts with the letter B and ends with an -itch! *insert hooked on phonics skills here*
I should have known though. Most of my life-altering epiphanies tend to start AND end with me. Yet it still gets me every single time. Isn’t that like the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over expecting different results? Before you think “yeah! I think it is”, I’ve read various controversial articles denoting this definition. BUT I AGREE, THIS ONE IS SO MUCH MORE BEFITTING!
Why can’t it be someone’s fault?
I figured it out! That’s what I want for Christmas. I want it to be someone’s else’s fault. I want it to be their fault so I can be relieved of taking ownership and accountability for myself. DARN YOU MAN IN THE MIRROR! Always working to be better and stuff. Since Santa is still fat, lazy and denying request of anyone six and over, I am forced to deal with the realities of life. This harsh reality. Unblocking myself. PERIODT.